The Big Indian Wedding

Last semester, I had gone for a relative's wedding from Kanpur. I went by train to Mirjapur (reading novels with the air blowing on your face in sleeper class rocks!) and stayed there for around two days.

I met a lot of old relatives there and many dear cousins, it felt good to be amongst all of them. There was a cultural programme on the first day, with all my cousins performing. Ended up missing that as the train was 4 hours late, stupid Indian railways. The reception was on the next day, the baraat started in the evening at around 6, with the groom, dressed sitting on top of an awesome looking totally pimped out horse (excuse the bad analogy to cars) and we went talking and dancing to the hotel where the bride was staying.

At the reception, all the ingredients of a great Indian wedding were present: the exquisitely dressed about-to-be husband and wife, all the guests in their glittering apparel, the decorated mandal with the traditional pyre and pundit, the awesome oily and spicy Indian food and what not. All these things got me thinking a lot about Indian weddings in general. India has always been renowned for having really grand weddings. Indian shaadis are BIG: make no mistake, we leave no stone unturned to ensure that the event is something that will be remembered.

My eyes traveled to bride and groom, their lives were forever going to be united as one, they each having taken a vow not to leave the other's side and felt all fuzzy inside.....OK maybe that was too sugary but my point is, the whole thing is so momentous. Two families- and bear in mind Indian families are huge- are going to be joined together, they are going to meet many new people and many new relationships will be forged between them. Suddenly you have many new mamis, chachas, cousins, grannies.....more people you can call family. This is why I love Indian weddings, because they do justice to how HUGE the event is. I guess people throughout the world also realize this, which is why many of them have their weddings/wedding ceremonies done Indian style, or should I say big Indian style.

But obviously there is a flip side as well. I've read an article in a newspaper about the massive amounts of money that people put in such weddings. Often, marriages become a show of class: having an epic and lavish wedding ceremony is a way to show your stand in society. This is true in villages as much in cities. This creates a lot of financial strain on family members, with a lot of borrowing to ensure the wedding takes place as wanted. Many times, paying the loan back becomes difficult creating an even worse monetary situation.

There are people who hate Indian weddings for the same reason, because they're so big that everything kinda feels 'fake'. As in, it feels weird getting introduced to so many people, most of which you'll never see or remember anyway, having to wear flashy clothes and in general the feeling of pretense that you have to drag with yourself and the plastic smile you have to wear on your face whenever you meet your endless relations.

Many people hate talking to relatives who are complete strangers (especially aunties who always say the same three things: 1. You've grown so big since I last saw you! 2. You're so thin, you should eat more! 3. Look how grown-up you are, so when are you getting married?!!) about random topics but come on, they are your family after all. The only reason they ask the same cliched questions is because they find making conversation as difficult as you do. The generation gap problem will always be there.

Is the whole thing superficial? Even though it may seem that way, I'm happier knowing that I have so many people who care for me. It feels good inside. Being accepted and loved by others is one of the best feelings in the world, and it feels great to know I have loads of people I can fall back on. Granted, friends are always there, but family is family after all, and friends may not always be by your side. Bottom line is, you have more people who will call you when you are in trouble or just to know how you are doing, and that feels great.

So the marriage ceremonies got over and I came back to IIT (train wasn't late this time). Then I kinda realized that I didn't have much time before the first mid-sem (40 hours to be exact!) and they kinda got screwed. But hey, in the long run, it's the memories that matter, right? To the next big Indian wedding, then!