The Desire to Write Shakespeare

Anger is definitely a thing that feeds on itself. Have you ever felt that moment when you are angry and you like it? It often happens to me. My mind then starts its ritual process of writing wonderful epics, like Shakespeare. It starts assuming things about the situation that made me angry, all to make me angrier.

An example? I meet a girl for five days in a row. For around 3 hours a day. We have great conversations. I cook dinner for her. And hot chocolate. We listen to the same music. The Beatles. Led Zeppelin. The Rolling Stones. Good old rock ‘n roll. We have a lot in common.

And then you start expecting things. And if a signal does not come, you mind pursues its desire to embellish. Who does she think she is? You start imagining things from her perspective, anyone else in her place would be floored with the amount of time and attention you’ve given her! And not even a bit of interest in return! Suddenly, you’re the forsaken hero with a heart of gold, in your own little movie, where you act like an ideal serenading man in spite of the female tearing your hope to shreds.

The mind makes a bigger deal of it than it really is. Maybe she was just busy that day. Who knows? There are too many assumptions made to reach the conclusions formed in my head. But can I blame my mind? With the amount of stories and heroes I throw at it, in the form of books, TV series, movies and video games; it is quite obvious that my mind would start treating everything as a part of a dramatic tale.

But the desire to write Shakespeare has a good side too. It makes things better in retrospect. The human mind is a wonderful thing. It filters out the bad memories and stores the good. Add to that the need to write a fable, and suddenly all your good times seem like paradise when you reminisce about them. Have you ever looked back at the past actions of your life and felt that they followed a kind of logical pattern, like a story? Have you ever looked back at a great week of debauchery in college and felt that it was the best time of your life? Well, there’s the mischievous mind at work. 

Desultory

Nice people are REALLY pissed when they are pissed. Maybe it's because they think they are getting a raw deal. Maybe it's because they are human. Maybe it is because they get hurt more than normal, used-to hating-and-hurting-everyone-and feeling-cool-about-it, pessimistic people. I don't know.

The teenage-emo-love-relationship-going out-break ups and "getting over someone"-depression and having too many cigarettes and booze because "nobody understands what you're feeling right now" industry is one of the most fraudulent, hyped up and bullshit things on God's green earth. Don't get me wrong, being in love(whatever your definition) and going for dates with someone who makes you feel like you have some worth in the world is awesome, but for the love of God, don't act like it is the best fucking thing to ever happen to you and the universe, better than sliced bread, Waqar Zaka, MTV's Gtalk, this youtube video and this video game put together. And if you are mature enough to be in a "relationship" then be mature enough not to get emo on every one's asses after that, acting as if you're the only one in the world with any tangible problems.

Most exams are fraudulent. Period. Read this. That TA exam was the biggest farce I've seen in a while. Why did the son of a bitch give all those slides and tell us to study them if he was not going to ask questions from all sections equally? The paper had a fucking 3 mark numerical which had NOTHING to do with the course, just a simple v=square root(2gh) formula from physics which confused people. And he had ONE MARK fill in the blanks like this:

X is different from Y because……

where X and Y are FUCKING OPPOSITE FACETS OF SOME PROPERTY like for example

beauty is different from ugliness because……

or

being straight is different from being gay because……

or

tensile stress test is different from compressive strain test because……

The answer could have been ANYTHING, a whole FUCKING PARAGRAPH and then he announces that you are supposed to write only a COUPLE OF WORDS, so children take up your bow and arrows, put on your blindfolds and make sure the concept you choose from the TEN-FIFTEEN CLEARLY DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS is the one he is looking for. You can't write all as there is no time. Disgusting. Though you should still study for exams, otherwise you're necessarily fucked.

You can justify bad things that have happened to you or times you've wasted being in a foul mood by saying that it makes the happy times happier and makes you appreciate the good times more. And weirdly, it feels true as well.

People act nice. It's true. Not everyone is as nice as they seem. By acting nice, you get others to act nice and care for you, thereby making you feel cheerful in a fake being-happy-because-someone-cares-for-me-and-I-have-so-many-friends kind of way. The chameleon behaviour thrives on itself. Acting begets more acting, all to feel some fake happiness. But happiness is a state of mind after all, so is it really that fake? Bottom line, act nice with people, no matter how much you get taken advantage of in the process.

Speaking of too-many-friends(TMFs), it's always good to be one with TMFs. Some people say that you should have some good close friends but you should actually have TMFs, then you automatically have the former. Having TMFs nicely massages your ego, ensures lots of birthday and other treats and makes you feel better for some reason, even when no one is actually talking to you.

Music sounds more awesome if you're high, confused in a good way or not thinking right but in a good way.

Human beings are awesome creatures. Meeting a new person is a very unique and wonderful experience indeed. How they think, what they like, their stories and perspectives. Though only if you're in a decent mood. Here decent doesn't always mean good, sometimes you feel like connecting to someone new if you're in a foul mood because as mentioned before, having TMFs massages your ego. Friends are in this sense a weird kind of currency, ego comfort chips or something. Thought I don't mean this derogatorily.

2 other things that massage your ego: people commenting on your blogs, people taking comfort from your cliched advice(which is actually correct in the situation as people get in a bad mood over cliched situations like the aforementioned "break ups").

Ahhh, feels good to write after all this time. Time for a coffee and some episodes of Death Note, Scrubs, Coupling and Family Guy.

Astrology is Fraud

Astrology is right up there with egotistic snobs, low Internet speeds, folks acting like exasperating idiots around infants, going "O, what a sweeeeeeet little baby! You're just so unbelievably cuuuuuuute!" and people using the phrase "last but not least" and the word "myself" as "Myself, Harry" or "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show. Myself Roy, your host for the night" on the list of things that make me want to kill a dozen dainty puppies with a sweetass 12 gauge double barrel shotgun. How the hell can millions of people go through the exact same things on the same day? Or if it is an "inexact craft", then how do you interpret it?

The fact that people base important decisions, even financial, based on it really boggles the mind. If that was not bad enough, people also use it as an easy way out. That's right, why blame yourself for your under-par performances or bad decisions when you can pin it on celestial objects millions of miles away? Because of the rampant belief in astrology, idiots like this guy are also allowed to go scot-free instead of being jailed for fraud and wastage of television airtime. And no, he doesn't die, not even due to shame. All this after the basis of astrology has been debunked by scientists. No, really, it has. Go here.

OK, as you can see, I was really bored and jobless when I wrote this. After writing all this, I was still bored, so I typed "horoscope today cancer" in google and went to the first few sites that came up.

From calastrology:

Your personal charm and attractiveness has a positive effect on you at this time. People see you as a loving and lovable person, and as someone who is aware of their needs and feelings, which can benefit you at this time. Others are willing to help and cooperate with your goals and ambitions. Love: 19% Emotions: 40% Intuition: 79% Creativity: 70% Work: 10% Money: 30% Power Numbers: 27, 14, 7, 4, 22, 9 Born Today: Nostradamus, Spike Jones, Shirley Jackson, Lee Remick, Sophie Monk

First of all, what's with the "power" numbers? Do I buy a lottery with them? But what combination? Do I take an average(16.6)? Or a root mean square value(16.09865)? And what the hell do the percentages mean? 19% love? Does that mean 2 out of 10 chicks will say yes if I ask them out? But aren't girls always looking for someone who is "a lovable person", who is "aware of their needs and feelings" and all that tripe? Looks like my personal charm and attractiveness will have a negative effect on them at that time. And don't even get me started on the "born today" list. Last time I checked, this isn't facebook, and I don't know these people well enough to wish them.

From gotohoroscope:

Silence is a very valuable thing today. Try to still your rebelliousness. It is important to prepare yourself carefully for life’s challenges and rein in your impulsiveness.

Oh shit! Remain silent? Then how the hell do I use my personal charm and attractiveness??? No wait, that was another horoscope. Notice how 38.5% of this horoscope(It is important to prepare yourself carefully for life’s challenges) is pretty much general life advice, general enough to be true on any day.

From horoscopes.astrology:

You feel as if you've got massive back-up today, even if you're all alone. It's a great time to speak up for yourself, as others should have a hard time arguing or even disagreeing with you.

*triiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnng* Houston, we have a contradiction! Unless by "speak up for yourself", the thing means "argue with others about the pricelessness of silence", I don't see how I can satisfy both.

From eastrolog:

Today you might have a tendency to criticize everybody at work. You are determined to solve a difficult issue and will resent your workmates' lack of involvement.

You will recover your good mood in the afternoon. Chances are you will have a great time with your friends. Remember: all work and no play is not the way to go!

I am a student, I don't have any occupation, and in any case my vacations are going on.

I woke up at 2 in the afternoon today in a very good mood from all the awesome sleep. After that, I had a long hot bath and some delicious food, and went to sleep again. When I woke up, it was 7.

I've not even come close to being in a bad mood, and the only "difficult issue" I had was deciding which pants to wear.

It is now night, and I have not yet met any of my friends, not even online or on the phone.

Therefore, I win.

From cainer:

'It isn't the winning that counts, it's the taking part.' This is more than just a pleasant platitude, by which life's runner-ups are consoled. It is actually a statement that acknowledges an essential fact. Victory is temporal and hollow. It is merely the other side of the coin labelled 'loss'. Go down far enough and you can only come up again. And vice versa. What's truly required, as we approach the holiday season proper, is not 'success' but stability and wisdom. The ability to be ambivalent but not apathetic. To not really mind if something happens, yet to feel inspired to try. Make your best effort. Remain objective and you will rapidly overcome this week's small astrological hurdle to happiness.

Holy shit! Thesaurus alert! Reminded me of The Architect from The Matrix, though here the ideas are ambiguous more than the words. But still, reconnoitering that agglomeration of equivocation is going to be thoroughly operose and will necessitate a lot of sedulousness.

From tarot:

Wednesday, Dec 3rd, 2008 -- You may have big ideas about a project at work today, but self-doubt could prevent you from telling anyone what you are thinking. Perhaps you remember some other time when you bit off more than you could chew. Nevertheless, your production anxiety is likely unfounded. Sharing your thoughts will be easier if you are honest about your strengths and limitations. It's better to ask for help up front than to promise more than you can deliver.

OMFG! It's all true! Don't you see? I had a "big idea" to make a "project"(blog) on astrology at "work"(on working the brain, isn't it obvious silly??? I mean, work can have so many possible connotations, and I will obviously choose the one that fits me, never mind that doing this could lead to the horoscope reading completely differently for 2 different people, with them extrapolating the surface meaning to their context in a way that will make it true). I didn't tell anyone as I doubted if I would ever finish it. I remembered previous blog posts I started with enthusiasm and never consummated. The next sentence has the word "likely" and hence can never be absolutely wrong. The rest of the horoscope(39%) consists of general life advice, general enough to be true on any day. Therefore, it all FITS!!! It took six tries, but he's really hit it out of the park and into space this time. How the hell did he do that???!!!

So, to summarize the advice given by all the horoscopes above, basically today all I have to do is pursue my goals and ambitions, prepare myself for upcoming tasks, speak up for myself, solve any difficult issues I come across, set aside some time for recreation, try my hand at everything with the best efforts, be well-versed with the philosophy of victory and defeat, remain objective, try to be happy and have a big, difficult idea about something and take other people's help and pull it off.

Whew! Now I see why all the celebs who take horoscopes seriously do so well in life. Too bad most of the day went in deducing all this. One can't follow the same protocol the next day, as it keeps changing. That's why they call it the daily horoscope. Damn you Venus!

Oh, and I've just realised that you can't verify the veracity of the content I've posted from the sites, as by the time you read this, it won't be the 14th of December, 2008 anymore. In that case you can do 2 things:

1. If you believe in astrology, blame it on the wrong alignment of the planets when you came here.

2. If you don't believe in astrology, eat me. Now, where's my 12 gauge?

Of Molestations and Hospitality

A certain fiasco in Antaragni '08 reminded me of something that I was pissed at a while ago and why I was pissed at it. I am talking about the molestation incident during the concert. Those in the dark go here.

The debate very quickly got out of hand, with lots of frustrated IITians(endsems were going on at that time) using that forum to vent their irritation and what not. The whole thing as it stands now is a very funny farce, go through it to have a laugh.

So what really got me worked up was not the fact that IITians were blamed. Hell, any publicity is good publicity. I'm not here to point fingers at the LSR females for singling out the IITians for blame, or at the IITians for making a mockery of the whole article and posting MCP jokes on it, knowing it may put IITK's repute under some strain. IMO the blame lies with Hospi cell to a certain extent.

Like all colleges, IIT Kanpur has a Hospitality cell during during its cultural festival Antaragni. The way the Hospi cell works is, when a team reaches the Students' Activity Center, they are put under charge of a Hospitality volunteer(a guy in first year). The team members get their IDs at SAC before they are escorted to wherever they are lodged by the volley, who is supposed to look after their stay in the insti during the period of the festival.

The reason I blame the Hospi cell to some extent is because I had a talk with one of the volleys who got LSR and even he was not aware that there was a separate enclosure for females(which would have prevented the incident above). How do you expect the girls to know then? But obviously, pinning blame on only Hospi for this incident is fallacious, as there may have been other factors at work. But I have a lot of problems with its general working.

First of all the blame does not lie with the bachchaas for not having all the necessary intel, like the existence of a separate area for females in this case. They are not to be held responsible as they did not have any idea that they were supposed to know all this. Let me run through how exactly the whole process works for a first-yearite. The poor guys have been in the insti for a couple of months, and are yet to find their feet around the place, what with all the "informal interaction" and GBMs and midsems and what not. The lack of females in IIT and the brainwashing about Antaragni being some sort of free-for-all orgy is a very bad combination. To add to that, Hospi is hyped even more.

Now I was in the Hospi cell in my first year. My interview was actually decent, but somehow I got the feeling that I was only selected because there were less candidates from my hall. I thought this as I was asked nothing about Hospi other than a cliched question about whether I would offer to carry luggage for girls if they were finding it difficult to lug it around. I answered yes, I would out of common courtesy(I was actually asked to justify this, which I found a little stupid at that time). I later found out that you're "supposed" to say no, as that is not part of your "work description". The irony of these two words really cracks me up, as you'll see later. Basically, if you carry their luggage, the girls will "take advantage of you" and will "tell their friends that they made an IITian carry their luggage for them". Ouch, that's delicate IIT pride you're talking about. You don't hurt IIT pride, never mind the civil intent. So you say no.

Coming back to the "work description", from the time of selection to the festival, the volleys are not given any sort of formal instructions or training whatsoever. In fact, the only work they do is place mattresses at places where the coming teams would be staying. Once the festival starts, they are assigned a college when they arrive and told to take them where they're staying.

So two undesirable scenarios occur:

1. The volleys take their team to where they are supposed to stay and then just leave. Some of them even forget to give their mobile numbers to the team leaders. The teams are not given any sort of basic info about their accommodation, where the shops and competition areas are, whom to go to for info, where to go for food etc. Though this causes some vexation for the visiting teams, and leads to bad feedback in general about the Hospi cell, it is still way better then scenario #2.

2. The volleys act "too interested" in the colleges and not so much toe the line of decency as overshoot it by a good 100 yards. This pretty much happens due the Hospi hype and the bad combination mentioned above. They end up getting katofied(non-IITKians read rejected) from the colleges, not to mention the nose-dive that the reputation of the cell takes again.

Of course, these are not the only 2 things that happen. A decent number of volleys ensure that their colleges don't have any trouble finding their way around, and quite a few become good friends with them as well. But that's still not the majority sadly.

Also, let's clear up one thing. The bachchaas may be brainwashed and insufficiently instructed but that's no excuse for acting like satyromaniacs, at least in public. Nothing justifies that misdemeanor.

This year I had a talk with some first-yearites in the cell and the situation was exactly the same. In fact some aspects were apparently worse. One of my really good friends was a secy(they conducted the interviews) and he told me that the papers on which they gave marks to all the interviewees got lost. A bunch of secies(the ones who "know a lot of people") then got together, and selected bachchaas that they knew, while strictly conforming to a hall-quota basis. Wonderful.

All this peeves me even more because I really liked the idea of the Hospi cell when I first heard about it(and still do). IIT Kanpur is one of very few colleges that has a Hospi cell which actually assigns people to every single college. Prima facie, it seems to be a very good idea. But it is not implemented well at all.

One may argue that the volleys for the Hospi cell are not even needed, as the people who come for the festivals are old enough to find their way around the insti and should not be pampered with "attendants", which is also a wastage of first-yearite manpower. IMO even that would be better than the half-baked sham of a cell we have now.

I, for one, am all for having first-year volleys for colleges. IMO this is a great chance for the juniors to improve their soft skills, make friends with people throughout the country(maybe even get hooked up), get to know about other colleges and in general open up to interacting with new people, which, if I remember correctly is one of the purposes of the "informal interaction"(I'm using these scare quotes too often) that the poor souls have to face till just two months before the festival. In fact, isn't that one of the goals of a inter-college festival itself, to foster bonding between different institutes?

So what's wrong? There is a huge communication gap between the secy and volley level. The volleys are basically out of it. They have no idea what to expect and what they're supposed to do. There should some sort of talk where the volleys are told about what their "work description" entails besides being fanatical zealots of sacrosanct IIT pride. They should be told about the basic etiquette expected from them towards other colleges, especially girls, and that they should befriend them and help them in their stay in the insti as only a good friend could. All this will only help them in getting the maximum back from the cell and maybe even some good acquaintances in the country.

People also underestimate the importance of Hospi in the festival as a whole. Every single college member that comes to Antaragni comes in contact with a Hospi volley directly or indirectly. Now just think about the ramifications of that for a second. The volley may be the only IIT person that an outsider comes in contact with, and therefore he'll form his opinion of the festival and/or institute based on what his experience with the volley is like. More importantly, if all the volleys perform their duties well, there will be a lot less for people to complain about, and who knows, it may even prevent such untoward incidences as the molestation disaster this year.

Rant

Taken from Sid's blog:

This is a collab thingy me and Ashish wrote one night at the cc in our second sem. Right after the endsems, so it was something like 30th April or something. We left it incomplete and thought we'd finish it together sometime else. We never got around to doing it. Maybe we'll add some more courses to the roster if we get frust enough to think of completing this in the future. Happy reading!

A word of caution: For you own sakes('cause neither me nor Ashish care about what you think of us), do not judge the authors by the post. We were a bit too sick of acads and wrote a couple of things we shouldn't have(like abusing Lord Rayleigh, who, by the way, was never knighted). The article remained saved in my blog and hasn't been edited one bit. Just think of it as what went through two lost souls when they finished their end-sem exams(which, I hardly need say, were disastrous).

What we learn here:

PHY103

Why is the sky blue?

Interesting, no? Well get this, it is blue due to the oscillation of %@^!ing dipoles. That's right, ladies and gents, high up in the sky, you have electrons and protons forming nice little symmetrical pairs and oscillating in perfect harmonic motion. Now this is where things really get interesting. A formula pops up, literally from thin air(just like our little subatomic particles) I=aw^4sin^2theta made by some jobless b@s+@rd called Rayleigh(and that Queen b!+{h actually knighted him for it). So now I is proportional to the fourth power of w and since w is highest for violet the sky is violet...no wait things are never THAT simple, even if you are working with pop-out-of-nowhere formulae. So, violet, indigo, blue and all the other high w colours 'superimpose'(that's like intercourse in physics: two things combining to give a new thing that has the properties of both, happens all the time in physics, horny subject, no?) and you see blue.

So basically, guys who've come here to become engineers and who'll never use this formula in their entire life are made to mug it up without knowing where it came from. SAD.

MTH101

Ah...the big one.The biggest reason for sleepless nights after hall days. I'm pretty sure that even if I ever came within an epsilon distance of really understanding what's going on, I would never fall within the delta range of passing. Didn't get it? Neither did I! (managed to pass though, but that was because of the continuity of my friends' answer scripts into mine). This is what the course is: a sequence of mindless discontinuous topics put into a series of lectures. The subject really tests the limits of your patience. Convergence of your mind on the topic at hand is integral as theorems like Green's, Pappus', Stokes' will make your hair curl and you will not be able to differentiate between the various elements of the text.

CHM101

Held at 10am(why, oh why???), it ends the snooze cycle of your alarm clock. That's right, no more "Oh, I'll get up in ten minutes before the next snooze." Wake up by 9:55, hunt for lab goggles and a lab coat, make sure you've worn shoes and drag your sorry lazy butt to the chem lab, still groggy eyed and disheveled.

How chem lab basically works is:

1. Mix A and B.

2. Put some reagent/indicator/catalyst/whatever to the mixture.

3. Put some sort of measuring device in it and measure whatever the device is supposed to measure.

4. Repeat the whole thing to make your reading more 'consistent' .

5. Write a lab report showing how much you've learnt in 3 hours.

Of course, you could just skip the whole thing and copy the final results from your neighbour or any other student in the lab for that matter. But now, why would you want to do that when the alternative is so much fun and interesting and educating? Silly to even think of it, isn't it?

The Big Indian Wedding

Last semester, I had gone for a relative's wedding from Kanpur. I went by train to Mirjapur (reading novels with the air blowing on your face in sleeper class rocks!) and stayed there for around two days.

I met a lot of old relatives there and many dear cousins, it felt good to be amongst all of them. There was a cultural programme on the first day, with all my cousins performing. Ended up missing that as the train was 4 hours late, stupid Indian railways. The reception was on the next day, the baraat started in the evening at around 6, with the groom, dressed sitting on top of an awesome looking totally pimped out horse (excuse the bad analogy to cars) and we went talking and dancing to the hotel where the bride was staying.

At the reception, all the ingredients of a great Indian wedding were present: the exquisitely dressed about-to-be husband and wife, all the guests in their glittering apparel, the decorated mandal with the traditional pyre and pundit, the awesome oily and spicy Indian food and what not. All these things got me thinking a lot about Indian weddings in general. India has always been renowned for having really grand weddings. Indian shaadis are BIG: make no mistake, we leave no stone unturned to ensure that the event is something that will be remembered.

My eyes traveled to bride and groom, their lives were forever going to be united as one, they each having taken a vow not to leave the other's side and felt all fuzzy inside.....OK maybe that was too sugary but my point is, the whole thing is so momentous. Two families- and bear in mind Indian families are huge- are going to be joined together, they are going to meet many new people and many new relationships will be forged between them. Suddenly you have many new mamis, chachas, cousins, grannies.....more people you can call family. This is why I love Indian weddings, because they do justice to how HUGE the event is. I guess people throughout the world also realize this, which is why many of them have their weddings/wedding ceremonies done Indian style, or should I say big Indian style.

But obviously there is a flip side as well. I've read an article in a newspaper about the massive amounts of money that people put in such weddings. Often, marriages become a show of class: having an epic and lavish wedding ceremony is a way to show your stand in society. This is true in villages as much in cities. This creates a lot of financial strain on family members, with a lot of borrowing to ensure the wedding takes place as wanted. Many times, paying the loan back becomes difficult creating an even worse monetary situation.

There are people who hate Indian weddings for the same reason, because they're so big that everything kinda feels 'fake'. As in, it feels weird getting introduced to so many people, most of which you'll never see or remember anyway, having to wear flashy clothes and in general the feeling of pretense that you have to drag with yourself and the plastic smile you have to wear on your face whenever you meet your endless relations.

Many people hate talking to relatives who are complete strangers (especially aunties who always say the same three things: 1. You've grown so big since I last saw you! 2. You're so thin, you should eat more! 3. Look how grown-up you are, so when are you getting married?!!) about random topics but come on, they are your family after all. The only reason they ask the same cliched questions is because they find making conversation as difficult as you do. The generation gap problem will always be there.

Is the whole thing superficial? Even though it may seem that way, I'm happier knowing that I have so many people who care for me. It feels good inside. Being accepted and loved by others is one of the best feelings in the world, and it feels great to know I have loads of people I can fall back on. Granted, friends are always there, but family is family after all, and friends may not always be by your side. Bottom line is, you have more people who will call you when you are in trouble or just to know how you are doing, and that feels great.

So the marriage ceremonies got over and I came back to IIT (train wasn't late this time). Then I kinda realized that I didn't have much time before the first mid-sem (40 hours to be exact!) and they kinda got screwed. But hey, in the long run, it's the memories that matter, right? To the next big Indian wedding, then!

8 Simple Rules

Do your 10th boards well and your life will be set.

Do your 12th boards well and your life will be set.

Do your CET, AIEEE, BITSAT, JEE etc. well and your life will be set.

Maintain a decent CPI and your life will be set.

Do your CAT, GMAT etc. well and your life will be set.

Do well in your PG courses and your life will be set.

Get a decent job and your life will be set.

Marry a 'nice' girl from a 'good'(READ: same religion, caste and stinking rich) family, settle down(READ: pay your bills, file your returns, have a 9 to 5 job) have kids(READ: Err...just do your best :P) and your life will be set.

But stray away from any of these 'goals', for whatever reason and by however small a margin and you won't stop hearing about your 'good friend' who did all the things you were 'supposed' to do and is now the poster child for every other person that has 'goals' and is 'career-oriented'.

Life is difficult man! Don't let peer pressure get the best of you :)

The Big Question

OK, so I walk into my hostel's reading room and stumble across something interesting going on television. IndiaTV has organised this 'open challenge' of sorts between a rationalist and a tantrik. The rationalist had basically said that superstitions and mantras and all are nonsense and people should stop putting blind faith in holy men. The tantrik's professional pride was obviously hurt, so he said that he would make the rationalist unconscious using a magical spell or mantra or whatever and was attempting to do so when I started seeing the show. The whole thing was called 'breaking news' for some reason, even though it was arranged by the channel itself. But hell, it's become such a loose term these days, used for anything from celebrity hook-ups to celebrity break-ups to.........more celebrity hook-ups :P

OK, so we have tantrik v/s rationalist, science v/s religion, yin v/s yan. The rundown of the show was (basically :P) something like this:

Anchor(let's call him Tom, it's a nice name for anchors): OK, ladies and gentlemen, we are now 10 minutes into our IndiaTV something something something challenge. Remember, the tantrik had said that his spell would work in under 20 minutes. Let us see what the ground situation is with X.

X(now obviously his name wasn't X, but it's a cool letter to look at and all, so let's stick with it): Well Tom, the two adversaries are face-to-face and are beating down upon each other. The clock is slowly ticking away and the tantrik doesn't have much time left to complete his mantra. Let us see what our two contenders have to say.

Rationalist(slightly plump, actually quite plump and in a nicely ironed grey suit with a REALLY REALLY SMUG smile on his face):Superstitions are bullcrap. This so-called tantrik is not going to be able to do anything to me with his so-called mantras. I hate swindling holy men. You people are lame.

Tantrik(in a normal holy man attire and really hyper from all the mantra chanting): Now you will fall down! My mantra will incapacitate you! *mutters weird Hindi and adds random things to the pyre*

Rationalist: Your magic tricks are full of bullcrap. Superstitions are bullcrap. It is sad that in a country like India people still believe in such puerile things. Superstitions suck.

Tantrik: Not so fast! Just wait! It's only a matter of time! *chants more viciously now*

Rationalist:The day we stop putting blind faith in superstitions will be a happy day for the country. You suck. All tantriks suck.

X:Well, dear viewers, 20 minutes are almost over and it seems that the tantrik has been unsuccessful.

Tantrik:Well, it may have not worked now, but in 3 days, this man will fall prey to a terrible malaise! A most ghastly infirmity I tell you!

X:But you had said that it will work in under 20 minutes. And nothing has happened.

Tantrik:Never mind that! In a while, I will unleash a terrible distress over him! *starts mumbling mumbo jumbo again*

X:In a while? What do you mean? We have an audience here. How long do you expect them to wait for you?(not to mention the commercials after EVERY BLOODY FIVE MINUTES) Will it be done in 20 minutes?

Tantrik:Sure, why not?!!

Rationalist:Did I mention how full of bullcrap superstitions are?

X: Well, Tom, in what can only be described as an amazing turn of affairs(OH REALLY???), the tantrik, after failing once, has started the spell again with renewed vigour. Let us see if he can do something this time.

Tom:Wow X, things are really heating up out there. Ladies and gentlemen, the situation is getting murkier by the minute. Will the tantrik succeed this time? Or will he fail like his previous 5 attempts? What about the rationalist? Will the tantrik succeed in converting him or will he be as obstinate as ever? Stay tuned and find out as we return after these commercial messages!

Sooooo.........what do we learn from the whole charade? Let us not go into who was right and who wasn't, the black and white of it. I am not even going to try to write my opinions on the whole 'science v/s religion' debate. It'll be too long, drawn-out and (probably :P) boring. It will be like writing about the purpose of life(which, by the way, according to me is to gain as much happiness in the long term as possible). So I want to leave this open to interpretation.

However, before concluding this, let us go back to the TV gig that started it all. Well, an hour was now over and the tantrik still hadn't done anything, the rationalist's nervous system was in fine working condition. He was totally rapturous at this point, he had finally won and the show looked like it came to an end. At this point even I was bored, and decided to leave without seeing the conclusion. There was a middle-aged man sitting next to me, the two of us were the only people in the reading room watching the show. He turned the TV off and was about to leave himself. As I walked past him, he said:

"These TV people must have not got a proper tantrik for the challenge. They must have just picked up any random pandit that they came across."

Like I said, open to interpretation. :)

Maximum City

Well, its now been more than 6 months since I've been here away from Mumbai. I guess being away from my home town(born and brought up there) for this long has made me all senti and all so I'm writing this.

OK, first of all, the biggest misconception people have about Mumbai is that the life here is very 'fast' and that people don't have time to even talk to each other. Believe me, nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, people are always traveling to and from office and the grocery shop and what not. But the people here are also amongst the nicest you can hope to meet. More than once, I've seen a passerby ask someone for directions and humbled by all the extra useful info given by the stranger. It really warms the soul :)

A Reader's Digest survey conducted two years ago in prominent cities of 35 countries labeled Mumbai as the rudest city of the lot. The public outcry not just in Mumbai, but in some other parts of India was amazing. Newspapers were filled with real life stories of acts of kindness by taxi drivers, policemen, shoeshiners and the public in general. Everyone was in vehement denial of the survey which was later accepted as 'not accurate'. Just goes to show how well-known the kind and friendly behaviour of the average Mumbaikar is :)

Another wrong image people associate with Bombay is that of the underworld. Well, it would have been valid half a decade ago but now, it is pretty redundant. When you say underworld and Bombay, the 1992 bomb blasts come to mind. On 12th March 1993, there were 12 bomb blasts in Mumbai, in crowded places including the share market at fountain. The official death toll was 257 killed and 713 injured. This was the single biggest terrorist attack in any city of India in its 45 years of independence. But since then, Mumbai has been mostly peaceful save for the bomb blasts on the local trains in July, 2006. There is a really good book on the 1992 blasts called Black Friday (also made into a movie) which I've been wanting to read for a while now. Speaking of books about Mumbai which I want to read, there's also Maximum City which is probably the first book I'll devour this summer vacation.

Being a foodie, I must mention the street food in Mumbai. In short it's just lip-smackingly awesome. The South Indian food(masala dosas,idlies and what not), the vada-pavs, the bhel and sev-puris and pav bhaji make your mouth water just imagining them. Hygiene fanatics will find something to complain about with the cleanliness of some of the stalls, but hell, once you've tasted the damn food you won't care a bit :) Calorie-counters beware! There's way too much unhealthy stuff in these things(they don't butter the pav so much as they pav the butter, if you get what I mean) but hey, you have to have it atleast once.

Some of my best experiences with the city were during 26/7. For those in the dark, there was a huge flood in Mumbai on the 26th of July 3 years ago. Torrential rainfall lashed the city for what seemed like forever. The whole city came to a standstill. Both the local railway lines(central,western) were closed. BEST buses were also jammed in traffic. There was chaos everywhere with chest-high water levels being a common sight.

In such trying situations, the way the public came together to help each other was amazing. You only had to turn the T.V. on to any news channel to find out about the dozen different ways in which people were going about helping each other. People were distributing vada-pavs and biscuits to students in stranded school-buses. Hotels everywhere threw open their doors for people stuck in traffic and unable to go anywhere for the night. People gave shelter to complete strangers in their houses. The altruism was truly infectious.

You can't have a blog about Mumbai without a para on its local trains. The good old 'packed like a can of sardines' phrase does not do justice to how crowded the trains can get. Travelling in one during peak hours should seriously be one of the 'tests' in the trials some tribes have for the adolescents before they can attain manhood. It may seem kinda weird (and wrong?) that I'm talking about the extreme crowds in the trains as if it is a great thing while I should be complaining about it. I guess once you travel in them frequently enough(3 years in my case), you end up liking them. Or maybe I'm just too pro-Mumbai :) But seriously, you haven't been in Mumbai if you haven't traveled in them. They truly are the lifelines of the city. Oh, and standing on the footboard of a speeding local is just awesome.

Coming back to the crowd in the trains though, like I said, words will not do justice so here are some pics:

All these pics are taken during peak hours(the first and third ones are probably Churchgate-bound trains from Virar) so generally it is not THAT bad. But this is basically what you're up against :)

There is also a lot of- for want of a better word- culture on these locals. Groups of people who travel by the same route in the same train everyday end up forming small families. They live a small but significant part of their daily life in the trains. Birthdays, anniversaries and other occasions are celebrated(sometimes they even decorate the WHOLE COMPARTMENT) and they end up making really close friends. So much so, that they end up canceling random errands so they always travel in the same train.

Like I said before, being away from Mumbai has truly made me realize how much I miss the place(that is evident from the size of what I've written I guess :P). Even though life here in Kanpur is fun, I'll always miss the place where I spent my childhood. Yeh hai Mumbai meri jaan!